The business of people pleasing

4th of July weekend was a nice time with good people. I spent today working around the house. Mainly figuring out how to make my yard look a little less white trash. Mirrors, picture frames, and other wall decor items were hung with not that many holes this time. I did all of the hard work today with the help of the fam and some pretty sweet ladies.

Side note: I'm having another one of those good, good talks. Main topic: people pleasing. I have this BFF, E., who quite possibly could be a poster child for people pleasers. Once upon a time, I think I also could have fallen into this category. Not to get too deep b/c I don't consider my blog to be a forum for life lessons but here it goes: Over the past 6 months I have made a conscious effort to NOT be this way. Before this dramatic change I did anything to make sure people were happy with me (including make myself unhappy.) Friends, family, co-workers, pretty much anyone (excluding students) is included in what was my strong desire to make people happy. When I say "make people happy" I mean mostly emotional things. And nothing serious just small things that eventually add up. In most cases, this is completely okay, but this is also an excellent way to allow yourself to be taken advantage of. When it's close, best friends/people who sincerely care about you, it's totally okay to want to please them in normal, non-creepy ways. But then there are people who are not those things and it becomes just a cluster mess of a friendship/ relationship. No longer a fan of those. Not one bit. I now find myself in a place where I realize that those people who genuinely care, love, and appreciate me for the person I am. Those people don't need me to actually do anything to please them. They're friends or whatever with me because of who I am and that's just dandy. It's enough. Nothing expected and full understanding. I'm definitely a work in progress going on 25 years now, but you learn something new everyday I guess.

The good. The bad. The ugly.

It's been forever since I blogged, so here's a quick synopsis. I'll try to do better. Promise.

The good:

PURCHASING AN AMAZON KINDLE. vacation. being home from vacation. seeing my grandmother and my mom. the iPhone 4 even though I don't own one. new home decor from Hobby Lobby. having Mazatlan after having none for 2 weeks. making up for lost time with understanding, loving, true blue friends. Victoria's Secret AND Bath and Body Works Semi-Annual Sales. The Rescue Me AND the Entourage season premieres: genius.

The bad:

a dear friend's loss. recovering from cellulitis. Pugh's recovery from her emergency surgery. family reunions (I mean that in the nicest way possible.) not doing lesson plans while on vacation which was the plan. the 1st 2 episodes of the new True Blood season.

The ugly:

no more World Cup for Team USA. a sneaky, quick mouse in my living room. my bank account due to vacation and other irresponsible decisions (see Kindle.) painting 2 bathrooms. trying to hang pictures but really only leaving holes in the wall. the awful dish water blonde color the sun has turned my hair.

Memorable Movies and Memorial Day

This picture is completely random and has nothing to do with my blog. Ashton is just 1 of the cutest kids ever (AKA D's son) and he just highlights my fear that my kids will be hideously ugly because everyone around me has gorgeous children. i.e. Ashton pictured above :)

First things first: Sex and the City 2 did not let me down. It was pure happiness for me! Was it as amazing as the first? Absolutely not, but there was no way that was going to happen, and I didn't expect that. Of course I laughed, I cried. It was awesome!

Speaking of movies, the movie Avatar and I have been playing this little cat and mouse game. I have refused to watch it, and it constantly haunts me via allusions and reference. Last night I finally gave in. Holy crap that movie is phenomenal! I may like vampires, but I am not a sci-fi kind of girl, but this movie pretty much rocked my world.

This Memorial Day weekend has consisted of countless hours of family and friend time. I did a little shopping and bought new patio furniture for my back deck. My house is obviously still a work in progress. My list seems to be growing longer and longer. Necessities needed: kitchen table, 2 bathroom light fixtures, bookshelves, doorknobs (because these tacky gold ones are driving me nuts,) and a hall tree (I didn't even know that's what these were called.) I try not to even drive by Lowe's because it has some sort of control over me, and I am tired of them taking all my money. I can remember hating going to Lowe's. What happened? Regardless, I am in no hurry and perfectly content with the way the crib is right now.

This weekend was also a holiday weekend because it was Fal's birthday. Celebrations were definitely in order. A day by the pool and a night out at Big Bang and Paradise Park was just what the birthday doctor ordered. Family time was yesterday and will also be today at the mom's. I am feeling very patriotic, blessed and appreciative this Memorial Day. I am extremely happy to be celebrating those that make me feel this way.

Miss Independent

What an interesting thing independence is. I have had the very indifferent experience that is "independence" for the past 6 months now. I purchased my own house, which I love and am SO proud of. When I first moved into my house, D. was a jack of all trades and could pretty much take care of any task I deemed impossible. Examples: hanging new light fixtures, fixing a dishwasher, a storm door, and a water heater, etc. This was awesome and so appreciated, but it spoiled me a bit. As if I wasn't spoiled enough from living with my unbelievably amazing mother for the first 24 years of my life. To say that I was well taken care of is putting it lightly. My mother is the caretaker of all caretakers. I'm pretty sure that I don't have a domestic bone in my body contrary to my mother's continued support that it will all come in time. BUT that's another blog for another day. Anywho, I am now attempting to handle things around the homestead on my own. With the assistance of E., Fal, and KP of course. I singlehandedly assembled my tv stand, put it together, and equipped it with what was necessary for usage. That sounds like nothing to an ordinary, productive person, but to me, this was HUGE. The television came in the mail (b/c it was a WOOT DEAL www.woot.com- it's a 1 deal a day website. Awesome. Also, check out www.groupon.com/nashville/ if you're in the Nashville area. When you're a teacher, you depend on these things. Sorry told you I get off topic.) Long story short: We'll pretend like that's possible for me. The television had been sitting by the door, not in use for close to 2 weeks b/c I was afraid and NOT CONFIDENT at all about assembling, mounting and putting it to use. Was it a hard task? Not at all. Just intimidating to me because of my lack of craftsman skills. The point to my babbling is it's super stressful taking on normal homeowner tasks when you've never had to deal with these mundane problems. Hence: a bluebird decides to build a nest in your dryer tube. What do you do? Apparently get it out IMMEDIATELY. On the bright side (shout out to Cr) it feels awesome once you have solved these problems and accomplished these tasks on your own. Or at least without the assistance of a male. Not that male assistance isn't wanted/needed sometimes, but as a girl, it's nice to do "manly" things solo. I've never wanted to be "that girl" that depends on a male for everything. Everything being happiness, survival, etc. I definitely can't say that I've NEVER been "that girl," but one day at a time is how I see it. I also definitely CANNOT say that I don't depend on other people for happiness b/c that would make me a liar. I most certainly depend on my family and friends for happiness. Extremely reliant on them. Regardless, paying the bills, working hard, and depending solely on yourself financially is difficult but definitely worth that accomplished feeling at the end of the day when you look around and know that all of it is yours. Well, yours and the banks. Even though I have had to give up a lot of my addictions: online shopping, spending hundreds of dollars on iTunes, new sunglasses and watches and purses every pay check, I do love this "Independent Woman" phenomenon I'm living. I'm also finally comfortable that I did not obtain my Mrs. degree from college. Disclaimer: I am so happy for those of my friends who are married and progressing in their lives. I'm merely stating that just because I'm not, doesn't mean I'm behind :) The American Dream is what you make of it for yourself. It's 2010. The stigma has been removed. 24 does NOT have to = married and pregnant.

"It's something about the kinda woman that wants you but don't need you." Ne-Yo is such a smart man.

Sidenote: Napoleon Dynamite NEVER gets old.